Writer, humorist at the Five Kids Is A Lot of Kids blog
1. You are a hero for your kids. You are. You're a go-the-distance,
fight-the-dragon, face-the-challenges hero for your kids. Taking a
beating makes that more true. Not less.
2. We all struggle. Every parent. Everywhere. We all second-guess
ourselves. And we all want to quit sometimes. Hold the good times close,
and when things are tough, remember, "this, too, shall pass."
3. Finding the funny may not save your soul, but it will save your
sanity. Or maybe it's the other way around. Either way, look for the
humor and embrace the crazy. Laughter is a lifeline.
4. Every day, you will feel like you have mishandled something. Like
you've been impatient. Like you've misjudged. Like you've been too
harsh. Like you've been too lenient. You may be right. Apologize if you
need to and then, whatever. Seriously. Just whatever. Let it go.
5. The crazy, the crying, the cuddles. The screaming, the sacred, the
scared. The minutes, the magic, the mess. It's all part of it. And it's
all worth it.
6. Family is the best. Even when it's not perfect. And it's never perfect. Ever.
7. At the end of organization, at the end of patience, at the end of
perfection, we die to ourselves. And then love rises from the ashes. It
sucks. And then it gets better. And then it sucks again. Still, love
rises.
8. You will never regret parenting. Except for the teeny, tiny tons
of times when you secretly wonder if you maybe regret it just a little.
But, overall, never. And overall is what counts in the end.
9. Parenting is like climbing the big mountain. Look for the base
camp. That's where you rest, meet other climbers, take in oxygen and
acclimatize. Base camp is what makes summiting possible.
10. You are not alone in this strange, vast, parenting ocean. Even in the dark of night. You are not alone. You're not.
11. Kids know the way to magical and they'll give you a free pass to
come along. Breathe in the magic as long as you can, because that same
kid is going to poop his pants in just a minute.
12. There's a very fine line between enjoying the chaos and barely
surviving. Actually, there's no line at all. It's all mixed up together.
That "fine line" thing is a lie.
13. If you pay attention, kids will teach you how to laugh loudly,
how to love deeply and how to live fully. They will also ruin all your
stuff.
14. Any number of kids is a lot of kids.
15. Look for joy. You'll find it in the middle of the busy. Or under
the ridiculous. Or hanging from the overwhelmed in its underpants. Joy's
like that. It's in the middle of everything. It's completely
unpredictable. And it will surprise you when you're not expecting it.
Like vomit and diarrhea, except good.
16. You will fall apart and do it all wrong. Forgive yourself. Ask
your kids to forgive you. Set an example of resilient fallibility. Set
an example of practicing the art of love -- both loving yourself and
loving others. No one does this parenting gig right the first time. Or
the last time. Or the times in between. Showing your kids how to keep
going after getting it wrong is a wonderful gift to give them.
17. Kids are difficult, gross, confusing and awesome. So are you.
18. Parenting will bring you face-to-face with yourself. It may be
terrifying. It may break you. But it will also rebuild you, and you will
be stronger than you ever thought possible.
19. Balance is a myth. Parenting isn't a tight-rope walk; it's a
dance. Strive for rhythm instead of balance, and trust yourself to move
to the ever-changing beat.
20. Yes, you will have days where you wonder where the hell the
capable and organized you went. Yes, you will sit on the floor of the
main aisle at Target by the check-out area with a child who is
thrashing, screaming and calling you names. Yes, you will have to tell
your child that the dog is not a napkin and to put down the urinal cake.
If you do not do all those things literally, then you will do them
figuratively. And yes, you will also hold that child and rock back and
forth and tell him you love him and tell him he's safe and tell him
you're not leaving even though he will someday leave you. This is
parenting. It is tragic and triumphant. Messy and magical. Sacred and
spectacular. And it is, always, fiercely worthwhile.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/beth-woolsey/20-things-every-parent-should-hear_b_3209356.html
One of the parameters for adopting from Russia is that you have a social worker visit 4 times post placement. The first visit is six months after you come home...then one year...then two years...then three years. This last visit almost seemed unreal to me three years ago. I can't believe it's happening today. In three weeks our little baby girl will be FIVE! The other thing that seems odd to me is that I am writing about ADOPTION at all. She just fits so right with us that it feels like she is just a part of us and always has been. We fit together like the best puzzle ever.
