Friday, April 11, 2014


My little sweetie was in my room hiding under the covers with her pillow shouting "MOMMY, COME PRETEND I AM ASLEEP!!" I ran through the house shouting her name pretending I couldn't find her since I didn't see her under the blanket. I said her name AGAIN and AGAIN...her name...a little girl's little girl. I often wonder if other people wonder at the beauty of saying their child's name out loud? A name I never thought I'd say (especially since we were told we would probably be adopting a boy). The words falling from my tongue like fluffy clouds floating away- clouds I watched in amazement. E L I S A.
It's real. It really is...and almost as surprising as sneaking up and pulling back the covers, shouting I FOUND YOU, listening to thunderous  giggles and stealing a thousand sweet kisses.      

I love you to the moon and back...


P.S. thank you for hugging me hard and saying "mommy, we are like two peas in a pod."  :)

Friday, March 7, 2014

Playing Frogs

Sitting and quietly looking at a rotating screen of the past two years with E. From a pudgy baby to a little girl with a big imagination. Six days until our two year gotcha day. TWO YEARS. Two years since papa stepped in that big icy hole carrying a bag with diapers, a tiny sweater and a scarf. We had a good chuckle over it. Two years since we walked into the orphanage and said our goodbyes to all the babies we knew...and hello to the one who just arrived (a sad little boy). Two years since we bundled up a scared little girl in a big green coat and carried her out the door, changing our lives forever and ever. I have grown so much since then. I have learned so much from her. Patience, love, compassion.

She makes me laugh all the time.

Her latest is a game she calls "playing frogs." We do this after bath and teeth and pajamas. You have to play frogs in the dark in her room. E gives us each a little guitar to hold and call our "Lily Pad." Then we say ribbit ribbit and I say "I'm the mama frog." She says "I am the tadpole and papa is the papa." Then we dance in the dark to two songs (Death Cab for Cuties Photobooth and Notwist, Pick up the Phone) and she spins around in the dark saying ribbit until she decides to "chillax" on the floor.

When it's time to go to bed I have to tell her a story about her shrinking down to a tiny superhero called The Tooth Inspector who flies into kids mouths in a yellow submarine to see if they have clean teeth. She reports back to their mamas and also the tooth fairy (the boss of the tooth inspector).

As you can see our lives with E for the past two years has been a wonderful and ACTIVE adventure.

She is perfect for me. I think I am perfect for her.

We are two peas in a pod.


Saturday, January 25, 2014

She is Perfect

I am stunned that it's been almost 2 years since the judge said "DA." It will be two years on February 9th. I think of our beautiful friends in Russia all of the time. I miss them dearly and still hold in my heart that one day I will be re-united with my amazing "sisters." I want my girl to visit the place of her birth. I want them to see how happy and amazing and perfect she is. I want her to see how kind and wonderful her homeland can be. This is what I wish.

Two years. The time REALLY does go through our fingers like sand. This is something you don't realize until you are watching you child grow and learn every day. I try to grasp on to it. I take notes, I snap photos, I journal...I never want to forget these moments.

She is my heart. She is amazing. She is so much more than I ever imagined. She is smart. She is creative. She has the best imagination. This morning I held her in my arms and while looking into her eyes she said "Mommy, you give me the best hugs. Can we hug all the time?" Honey, you don't know how much I hope this to be true...I love you more than the moon has cheese.