My world in the next few weeks will change a lot, so my mama and daddy wanted me to write you a letter so you will know why we are doing the things we do.
First, we want to fill you in on a few things that make our situation different than perhaps that of someone who was born into this family from the beginning. You see, I've always been with lots of other kids my age and we always had some ladies taking care of us. The ladies did their best but so many kids at one time can be a lot for anyone. They washed, dressed, and fed us but it was their job. A person can only do so much. We didn't get the cuddles, massages, and touch that other children might get from their mamas and daddys. And really (and this is the sad part) -- we don't know what it's like to be loved.
Up until this past year, a mama was any lady and a daddy was any man. Just recently, I've was introduced to my Mama and my Daddy and I don't know what this really means. When we met, they were just great playmates. Now that we are together as a family, they do everything for me that the ladies used to do ~ plus more. They hug me, kiss me, and tell me "Ya tibya loo bloo" (I love you) all the time. This is very foreign to me ~ but I like it :)
Once we are finally home, it will be a critical time for us as a family. I have to learn what a true "Mama" and "Daddy" means ~ and who they are to me. We need time to attach and bond since we missed out on the first 24 months of my life here on earth. Having said that, we're going to try and follow a few guidelines for kids who find a forever family just like I did.
1) My world is going to be small for a while. I'm sure that when I first get home I will have a crazy time meeting my new big family for a little while. Normally, if I was a baby born into the family, friends and family might want to pour in to welcome me, but please understand that I will need a lot of downtime for just a little bit. We'll start venturing out to see people slowly so please be patient with us.
2) I need everyone to know that in order for me to fully understand the roles of my Mama and Daddy, all caregiving aspects should only be performed by them. By that I mean -- feeding me, changing me , dressing me, holding me, soothing me if I cry or hurt ~~ any and all of these activities should only be done by my Mama and Daddy. That doesn't mean we can't play because we can! But if I'm hungry or start crying, simply take my hand and lead me to my Mama and/or Daddy and remind me that Mama and Daddy do those things for me. Others holding and soothing me will only confuse me so please don't take it personal ~ this is just temporary while we still get to know each other as a family. I've never known what it was to have a family so it will take a little while.
3) I'm used to living in a very structured setting back in Russia. Here at home now, Mama and Daddy are trying to make each day very structured, too, to help with the transition and all the changes I'm experiencing. We would appreciate it if you called first before coming over just so we can be sure it's a good time.
Thank you for your never-ending support during this journey. I am so so happy to have a family, and after a little time and adjustment we will have so much fun together.
My Mama and Daddy say thank you for understanding. They also say that if you want to see some videos on attachment and bonding and the period known as "lockdown" (my mama calls it "cocooning") you can watch them here!
Paka-Paka and Spasiba!
~The Little Bee
*This letter (Letter from Kristina) was taken from another blog and modified to suit our family